It's 5:06 as I sit here in Sadie's nursery. It just seems so surreal...something that we have been preparing and praying for is about to become a reality. We couldn't be any more excited!
At 4 am I awoke to the rain hitting our windows and so began my mind racing in so many different directions. The realization that we are leaving today. Our life will be forever changed. Our family will be forever changed. We are thrilled!
" For this child we have prayed" 1 Samuel 1:27
My mind fills with lots of emotion...as we leave our children today to go and bring back our fifth little one! As I laid in bed tears began to fill my eyes as I ponder how we got here. I am flooded with lots of thoughts, questions, and unknowns. My expectations change from one minute to the next. I find myself anticipating but not knowing what that even will look like.
What will I be like the first time I lay eyes on this child...this beautiful child that we have prayed for since she was 4 months old. How will she react? How can her little heart take on all this change when she couldn't be preparing the way in which we have...she's just to little. Then fear hits me....and I allow those feelings that I try to stuff deep down inside to the surface. You know those feelings, the ones that can lead you down a path of feeling inadequate, unworthy, scared, and anxious. Just raw emotions.
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
As quickly as they pass through my finite mind is as boldly as the Holy Spirit fills me up with His word.
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" 2 Corinthians 3:17
"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery" Galatians 5:1
The Word that comes in and comforts my soul right when I need it most. I begin to really shed tears for my heart is overwhelmed with the Love of my heavenly Father for me in this very moment. My needs are a priority to Him, because I matter. For I am His child and He cares about me in every way...even when I foolishly allow fear to take a grip. Once again excitement fills me up.
"Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies" Psalm 36:5
The unknown can be so scary. But today I choose to walk in your truths. I am not able to carry myself through it all but He Is. My trust is in Him alone. We serve a great and mighty God and I praise Him today. My heart is overwhelmed with all that He has in store and I rejoice that He has placed me right where He wants me. Because He loved me I can love!!!
There is one sweet little girl who might not know how to receive our love but He will be right alongside of us, guiding us. His love is Enough!!! Enough for everything ahead. So thankful for all things are in Him and through Him! Praise be to our heavenly Father!
"We walk by faith not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory..."
Ephesians 3:20-21
Your post brings tears to my eyes because I could have written it a month ago! I am so excited for you guys to be on this journey and it is amazing how much we have in common! You will feel every emotion possible when you are there but it will all feel so right on Gotcha Day. The most wonderful moment next to meeting her will be when you meet your family back at the airport and your kids are all together finally. That is a great moment.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy and try to take it all in! I am sure it will be great and you will love Stella and HK but be ready to come home and start your lives together. I have really learned 5 isn't really any harder than 4 and you older kids will be such a big help. I am sure they won't keep their hands off Sadie!
I will be praying that it all goes great!
Barb
Our prayers are with you and your family!
ReplyDeleteWe didn't know today was the day you were leaving, just knew it was coming! Our prayers are with you Cayte & Bob as you fly over to Hong Kong, for safety, for a smooth transition, that God would take away any fear & anxiety. Prayers also for your 4 beautiful children waiting for the return of their loving parents & newest sibling. Your children are amazing just like the two of you, how they are just as excited to give a home to this little Sadie. We've been so blessed to meet Rob, Nate, Maggie & Gracie as well.
ReplyDeleteWe are looking forward to more news and the next edition of your journal. You included some very wonderful Bible verses in this journal that are impacting to all of us.
These two verses were ones I clung to went I was going thru my ordeal with cancer:
2 Timothy 1:7...
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
and
Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
Our love & prayers to the 7 of you! Lisa, Dan & Erik
Beautifully written Caytie. Your words speak to me, even 6 months home with our little one. We do indeed serve an amazing God who is more than enough and who drives out all fear. We are praying for you and cannot wait to see you on the other side!!!
ReplyDeleteWe have been praying for you all and will continue to do so. I am so happy that this time has finally come!! We love you. :-)
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you guys! I am quite sure the moment she is placed in your loving arms will feel like home to her. And it will be a moment you will never forget! I hope you took your videocamera. What a beautiful and unique opportunity you have been given! Trust and obey! God will meet you there!
ReplyDeleteSo excited for ya'll, Caytie!! Can't wait to see her in your arms!!
ReplyDeleteYes, for this child, you HAVE prayed! We have that verse on a small framed painting in Landon's room. It is directly across the room from the rocker. So, as I hold Landon, rocking him to sleep, that catches my eye everytime, and I can't help but choke back the tears. It's easy to forget just how long the wait was, and just how hard you prayed once you get home. ENjoy every minute over there, and I can't believe you are less than 5 hours from meeting her now!!! I know you aren't in Korea, but at the end of this video, I can't help but picture you guys as you meet your sweet Sadie!
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