You gotta check this out!!!!

After we began the process, in the very beginning I came across this video that I believe the Lord used in confirming to my own heart the steps that we had begun in our adoption.

I began following Kristi's blog!  She keeps life real and I love that! She has been so helpful in knowing what to expect in the transition time and how she went about the whole process.  I love her heart for the orphan. She is a huge advocate for the orphan and she lives it out! Thank you Kristi, for being a vessel and being obedient to what God drew your heart to!
(remember to turn off my music in sidebar)


Here is Lucy Lane's video posted today! Her one year home video! yeah!! So love following this family!
(look closely because you might just see some people you know(hint..hint).....

Lucy Lane Gotcha Day - One Year Later from kristi johnson on Vimeo.


I pray that this has touched your heart in a new way for those who are so desperate for families to take a step out in faith and bring them home to a forever family!

Clay in the Potter's Hand (Part 2)

The coach ended the call by saying how much he was going to miss Robbie on the team and how he wished that some of the other players possessed his personality.

After hanging up the phone I was fighting off tears.  I couldn't even pinpoint my feelings at the time.  But, prayed Lord help me, help us, help Robbie with this news.  Your plan is perfect, I know this to be true.

I called Bob immediately and told him of what I was just told.  He was actually on our street getting ready to pull in the driveway at the time I was calling him....accidental? I think not!  God amazes me...He knew what Robbie needed...his dad.

We pulled three chairs up and sat on that patio and Bob began to tell Robbie.

(side note: you know how a conversation is happening but somehow you are thinking like 3 different things simultaneously while people are talking.....well, I was. Just thanking the Lord for such a wise husband and loving dad who sat there and gently gave the news to his son.  Told him how proud we were of him and what a blessing he is to us and that we hurt for him and are there for him through this tough time while also... fuming over why and how the coaches came to this decision, thinking, doesn't loyalty count for anything anymore? and instantly comparing his abilities against others lack of abilities......ugh.....my heart was looking pretty ugly, stinkin sin. Then started confessing....yeah all that was going on at the same time.....scary, I know!)

Robbie's face was one of sadness, confusion, and just plain shock.  Bob and I are both verbal processors so when he told us he needed some time to let it sink in....it was killing us.  We hugged him and let him kick the soccer ball around the yard.

About a half hour later, I asked him if he wanted to go up to the field and kick the ball around and shoot on goal with the rest of our crew.  He did, so the kids and I loaded up in the van.  He got in the front seat, reached for my ipod and played this song real loud....I glanced over and streams of tears were coming down his face as he sang these words...
(turn music off on right side bar to listen to video)


I fought hard not to cry but did and told him how much I loved him.  In that moment, I can honestly say, Thank you Lord!!

Thank you, because life is not about the A team.  Life is about so much more.  If we only ever lived on the A-team we would miss out on all that God has for us to learn.  God's word promises us that we will endure hard times..

Romans 5:2b-5
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

All of those things are refining us for who Jesus wants us to become.

I really don't want my children to go through life thinking it is easy street.  They need to feel these pressures, they need to struggle because for one thing, life is real hard.  To have these moments and be given a chance to speak into his life is just a gift from the giver Himself.  He has given Robbie the ability to call on His name for comfort, He has given him an opportunity to be a light to a different team, He has given him an opportunity to use his talent for His glory not for Robbie's.  His plan is perfect.  He is the Potter who allows different experiences to come into our lives to shape our character and to mold us into what He wants us to be.  He loves us this much!

Robbie later that night opened up to Bob and I and shared his thoughts and actually felt excited for the new prospects of being on a new team.  He shared some criticism he had from a couple kids, one in particular, that had been wearing him down.  Bob and I knew that one kid was giving him a hard time but not to the degree that he shared that night.  He felt relieved, somewhat...but determined to work hard.

I'm not going to sugar coat this and say it isn't going to be hard or it isn't going to sting to see the other team at times.  I'm sure Robbie will struggle with this along the way but God knows what we each need and some times it takes stripping us down to get us to where we need to be.  Never a comfortable place but necessary nonetheless.

I was so thankful that his ambition and passion for the game was not squelched.  So thankful for the time that he was able to share what was going on in his heart.

As we told the other kids what had taken place, they were angry and sad, Nate actually began to cry...he was feeling the hurt for his brother.  We got the opportunity to process this together as a family.  For those of you who have children in sports you understand....it becomes a family affair, an outing that you share together, a bond.

BUT, there is so much more to life then sports! I get caught up in it too!

 I want more for my kids then the American dream of living a life with a nice car, nice house, good job popularity, prestige, pleasure, power.... I pray that they live a life, falling on their knees realizing their desperate need for a Savior.  That they would give of themselves for the cause of Christ even if it meant their life. That their desire would be to continually seek His face above anything else this world has to offer.  That they would fight for those who can't fight for themselves. That they would love because He first loved us! I pray this for myself as well.  To live each day with an eternal perspective...because all of this will one day fade away.  We were created for so much more!


Matthew 5:13-16   Jesus said,
"You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?   It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.  You are the light of the world.  A city on the hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on it stand, and it gives light to everyone in the the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."


I look forward to a new group of people to share with! Excited to see what God has in store for the "B" team!

Clay in the Potter's Hand (Part 1)

(The title of the post might seem odd, but bear with me;)

                                  (#33 is my boy!)

Robbie is in the middle with a big smile! Victory!

Robbie's soccer team finished the year winning the State Cup making them State Cup Champions....pretty neat!  A great finish!

Robbie has been playing for this Soccer Team for the last 5years.  This team has pretty much stayed the same with a couple changes here and there when players leave but for the most part they have remained the same core group.  As families we have cheered them on, encouraged them during seasons that have not gone as well and have celebrated many victories.  You really get to know each other, even if it is just on the sidelines, hooting and hollering.  It's all fun.  Memories are established and you become friends.  You share what's going on in your lives, and have even shared prayer requests with some who have become real close.

 We as parents, have weathered the anxieties together that come from travel tryouts each year.  Relieved several years ago when told tryouts were no longer going to be necessary at their ages.  We could take a deep breath.  No longer fearing the "call" from the coach.  You see, there are 2 teams for our age group.  The "A" team and the "B" team.  The A team for the kids who possessed a little more skill and the B team for those who also possessed skill but not on the same level as those on the A.  Robbie was one of those who 5 years ago was put on the A team and has been there since.

At the conclusion of this year, we had a pool party where all the families come together and eat, talk, kids play and we conclude with appreciation for the coaches and the boys were given sweatshirts recognizing them as champions.  We had a delightful day, one in which we even got to share with some of the parents, about our adoption and what God is doing in our lives.

The next day, I got an unexpected call from Robbie's coach.  His voice was trembling as he said, "This is very hard for me to say, but I am going to have to cut Robbie from the team".  To say that I was shocked would be a complete understatement.  He proceeded by telling me what a hard decision this was and quite frankly, the rest is a blur.....bottom line he had too many kids for the team coming this fall and he felt as though Robbie would get more playing time if he went to the B-team.

He was the only boy being cut from his team.....

I felt as though I had been kicked in the stomach.  Thoughts were swirling all around....bizilions of them coming in and out of my head.  What in the world? There were no tryouts, so how could he be cut?  The coach had picked up one boy from the B team, another boy from another team altogether, and a third boy who had played for us a couple of years ago when we were struggling, left our team to go play for a "better" club, but now that we were champions, decided he wanted to come back and play so was welcomed back with arms wide open (yeah, you know exactly what I was struggling with at this moment!.......Big time!)


I wanted to scream It's not fair!!!!! How could you? why my son? He's been loyal even when.... He's the teams biggest encourager....He's by far, not the worst player, not even in the bottom 3.....why?


Those questions weren't answered nor will they ever be.

As I spoke to the coach, I prayed for the Lord to please give me words that would show grace to this man who had made, no doubt, a very hard decision.  That through my reaction He would be glorified.  He did.  He always give us a way out when we so badly want to sin, stomp our feet in defiance and scream It's not fair.  I wish I could say that all my thoughts were pure.....they weren't.  I struggled as a mom whose love for a son was so great and knowing that bringing this news would undoubtedly shake him to his core the way it did mine.

(I'll share more tomorrow, I feel as though this post has gotten so long and I have quite a bit more to share.....the good stuff........)

This song just captures my heart! (one of many)

(don't forget to turn off music in sidebar:) 

This song gets me every. single. time.

I cry everytime we sing this in church. (it ain't pretty either)

It causes me to think of many things that God has allowed to happen in my walk. Just remembering all that has taken place in my life, the loss of my dad, my nana, my father in law, pop-pop's, a precious little baby we never met, and other struggles. But not forgetting the joyful times, getting married to a wonderful man who loves the Lord, having the incredible blessing of 4 children and soon to be another little one, the love of and close relationships with extended family along with friends.  No matter what, He has always been ENOUGH every. single. time.  So thankful to be a child of a Father that loves me regardless of how I act and one that fills me with His hope in the unknowns.

In the chorus he sings, "Your love is faith for the widow", which I cry because of my mom being one of those who has endured that hardship and yet remains faithful.

" Hope for the orphan"....about this time I am crying that really ugly cry. Thinking of our little precious baby girl who we can't wait to meet.  The yearning to have her home in our family to love and care for can be so overwhelming while waiting, it feels like an eternity.  My heart hurts for her little person knowing she will be uprooted from all that she has ever known.  All for the good of having a family and people to call her own, but she won't know that initially when she leaves the people that have cared for her since she was born.  But God already knows what she needs and he will again be ENOUGH for her while she transitions and for me and the rest of our family as we help her adapt to our life and shower on her every piece of love we have because of God who has richly blessed us with His love to do that.  Oh how my heart loves this precious baby with everything in me!  She is adored and loved by so many already.  I wish I could share more, one day...hopefully soon!  Pray for us!

I love this kid!

 Nate has not played baseball for years....probably since 1st or 2nd grade.  He just really didn't have the desire.  This year he really wanted to play and I was the delinquent one that missed sign ups.  So, with him pleading for me to help him get on a team I signed him up late.  Only to find out there was a waiting list......ugh.....I felt like the world's worse mom.  He had wanted to play and reminded me but it just slipped right out of my ADD brain.  So, needless to say, I apologized to him for my forgetfulness. He, of course, "no problem mom".

We got a call to say they had some drop-outs and that he would be placed on a team!  We were thrilled,(I was redeemed)!  We thanked God for giving Nate this chance to play!

Nate practiced and practiced, a couple runs to the batting cages and playing in the back yard and he felt ready to go!

He had a great year! He was hands down the most handsome catcher or player for that matter in the league!(I know....but I'm his mom, it's my blog and I can say that;)

The team lost every game but one.....but they had heart! For example, the last game(mind you they only won once)they were losing by many runs and were getting ready to be pulled from the game because of the mercy rule. His team was in the outfield and after many scores that inning the pitcher caught a fly ball and the boys all ran in and slapped him and high-fived each other.  I seriously almost cried( I know....but I'm his mom and I'm a sap).  These boys had heart! They were not down because of some mercy rule, they were excited because somebody actually caught a fly ball...which was not a usual occurence on this team.  Okay, back to why I was crying, how cool is it that they still were pumped even after a blow-out season and 6 games called because of the mercy rule. These kids were in the game for the right reason and despite the scores and losses they were still fist pumping each other, their attitudes spoke volumes.

 Nate was one of the driving forces on the team and made this momma very proud by being the team encourager.  His coach pulled Bob aside and spoke so kindly about Nate and what a nice young man he was.  This boy melts my heart, his love for Jesus shines through Him and he is such a joy!  He loves to have heart to heart discussions, tends to see things as black or white(but we're working on this).  The one night I was driving him to his game I looked over and he had a necklace with a wooden fish on it that read JESUS!  I said, "are you wearing that during the game" he said "Yeah, mom".  I love his boldness, what a blessing he is to our family!

Memorial Day Weekend

This past weekend we had some good friends, Mark and Taira and their two precious girls come down to our camper to celebrate Memorial Day Weekend with us.  We had a rip-roarin time that was packed with lots of fun things to do.  Warning: there are many pics in this post.....enjoy!

My cute family sitting by the dock just fishing.....ahhh the life!

yukking it up in the water:)

My four beautiful kiddos.....missing the 5th one though!

My great friend, Taira.....we are two peas in a pod! love you T!

Mia.....I mean....can you get any cuter!!!!!!

Nate and Ellie had a great time on the beach together!  She liked having a big brother:)

They were so cute playing

The guys roughing it up in the ocean and playing with the kiddos :)

The girlies!

Nate....what a cute kid

Mag-pie and Mia posing for a pic

ahhhh love this girl!

Surrey races......this crew against.....

this crew...somehow Gracie and El aren't in the pic

fishing.....sand sharks were caught

Daddy kissing his little, little, little fish...I think we could almost put that in a fish bowl it's so small

But this guy caught the biggest fish of the day! Striped bass, 10lbs. 28 in. he won the prize!